By Maria Merola אריאל
© Copyright Double Portion Inheritance, September 2008
The entire point of this article is not to say that YaHuWaH condones divorce for any reason. The entire point of this study is for all of those (including myself) who have been divorced wrongfully and against their will by a cheating spouse.
If you are a victim of being divorced by a cheating spouse, and you have been made to feel that you can never remarry, just because of some mistranslated words taken out of context in Matthew 5 & Matthew 19, then this article is for you! This article is by no means condoning divorce for any reason. This study is merely to show that the innocent party who did not want the divorce is allowed to remarry!
If you are a victim of being divorced by a cheating spouse, and you have been made to feel that you can never remarry, just because of some mistranslated words taken out of context in Matthew 5 & Matthew 19, then this article is for you! This article is by no means condoning divorce for any reason. This study is merely to show that the innocent party who did not want the divorce is allowed to remarry!
Ever since I can remember, I have heard people in the Christian Churches quote Malachi 2:16 and they would often say “God hates divorce.” This phrase was often used as if to say those who were divorced (even if they were the innocent party that did not want the divorce) were somehow in sin for having been divorced by their spouse. While it is true that YaHuWaH hates it when a family is torn apart and a Marriage Covenant is broken, it is not true that divorce is always a sin in every case. We read about Joseph (the earthly father of our Messiah) and he was a righteous man intending to divorce his betrothed (wife to be) Mary (Miriyam):
Mattithyahuw (Matthew) 1:
18 Now the birth of Yahuwshuwa Mashiyach (Messiah) was on this wise: When as his mother Miryam (Mary) was espoused to Yahuwceph (Joseph), before they came together, she was found with child of the Ruwach ha’Qodesh (Holy Spirit).
19 Then Yahuwceph (Joseph) her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of YHWH appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Yahuwceph (Joseph), you son of Dawiyd (David), fear not to take unto you Miryam (Mary) your wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Ruwach ha’Qodesh (Holy Spirit).
Joseph was a just man and yet he was planning to put away Mary (Miryam) privately because he did not want to cause her shame or to have her stoned to death. If Mary (Miryam) had committed adultery, then Joseph would have had a just cause to divorce her. But as he was visited by the Angel of YaHuWaH, he soon found out that she was not an adulteress, but she had conceived by the power of the Ruwach ha’Qodesh (Holy Spirit). This goes to show that divorcing a woman who had committed adultery was not a sin according to Deuteronomy 24.
Ever since I was a child raised in the Catholic Church, I was always taught that if one was divorced that he or she could never again re-marry or else they would be committing adultery. This false conclusion stems from the modern Bible translators wrong interpretation of the Hebrew & Greek words for “divorce” and “putting away” in Matthew 5, Matthew 19 & Malachi 2:16. Few people realize that these are two completely different words with different meanings in both Hebrew & Greek. The King James Version, the Hebrew Masoretic Text, and the Greek Textus Receptus interprets these words correctly, whereas all modern translations do not translate these words properly from Hebrew to English, thus leaving the reader to come to a false conclusion.
When I was born again in 1981, I was confronted by those in the “Pentecostal Holiness” Churches that placed condemnation on me because I married a divorced man. But my former husband at the time had an ex-wife who had already remarried another man, so there was no hope for him to reconcile with her and I made sure of this before I married him. People in the Pentecostal Holiness Churches often cited verses that our Messiah quoted in the gospels to prove to me that I was an adulteress by being married to a divorced man.
But what I did not know back then that I do know now, is that there are two different words in Hebrew for “divorce” and “put away.”
In the Strong’s Hebrew Concordance we see what these two different words are:
# 7971. shalach shaw-lakh’ a primitive root; to send away, for, or out (in a great variety of applications):-- any wise, appoint, bring (on the way), cast away, cast out, conduct, earnestly, forsake, give (up), grow long, lay, leave, let depart (down, go, loose), push away, put away, forth, in, out, reach forth, send away, send forth, out), set, shoot (forth, out), sow, spread, stretch forth (out).
# 3748. kriythuwth ker-ee-thooth’ from 3772; a cutting of the matrimonial bond, i.e. divorce:--divorcement).
We see above that the word “shalach” means to simply send away without a certificate of divorce. This means that some men were sending their wives out of their homes or separating from them without giving them a legal divorce certificate. YaHuWaH hated this because these women were left hanging in limbo and could not remarry.
We also see another word in the Hebrew Scriptures “kriythuwth” which means to “cut the matrimonial bond” or to “divorce.”
Now, with that foundation laid, let’s see what the King James Version says in Malachi 2:16:
Malakiy (Malachi) 2:16: For YHWH, the Elohiym of Yisra’el, says that he hates putting away (shalach): for one covers violence with his garment, says YHWH of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that you deal not treacherously.
Now let’s compare this verse in Malachi 2:16 in some of the modern translations:
New King James Version:
16 “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts.
New International Version:
16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty.
New American Standard Version:
16 “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
Now let’s take a look at the Oldest Hebrew Translation:
Malachi 2:16
כי שׂנא שׁלח#7971 אמר יהוה אלהי ישׂראל וכסה חמס על לבושׁו אמר יהוה צבאות ונשׁמרתם ברוחכם ולא תבגדו׃
You will notice that the word “shalach” (put away) is used here #7971. It mentions nothing about “Elohiym hating divorce!” It simply says that he hates “shalach” (putting away).
This means that YaHuWaH hates it when a man separates from his wife and marries another woman without legally divorcing the first wife. This is not to say that YaHuWaH is okay with men cheating on their wives. This of course is a sin. But if the man is going to commit adultery and marry another woman, the very least he could do is to give his first wife a certificate of divorce and this would allow her to remarry. So “Does YaHuWaH really hate divorce in all cases?” NO!
What YaHuWaH hates is the fact that husbands were separating from their wives without having a just cause, and to top it all off they were not even making it legal by giving them a certificate of divorce which would enable them to get remarried. This is what YaHuWaH hates!
YaHuWaH does not ALWAYS HATE DIVORCE WHEN IT IS FOR A JUST CAUSE:
How can we be sure that YaHuWaH does not hate divorce in all cases? We find out that YaHuWaH himself is divorced from Yisra’el:
Yirmeyahuw (Jeremiah) 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Yisra’el committed adultery I had put her away (shalach), and given her a bill of divorce (kriythuwth); yet her treacherous sister Yahuwdah (Judah) feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
Notice that he did two things:
1.) Put her away
2.) Wrote her a bill of divorce
He did not merely “put her away” but he made it legal and wrote her a divorce decree!
Debariym (Deuteronomy) 24:
1 When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement (kriythuwth), and give it in her hand, and send her out (shalach)of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.
Notice that a man who wants to divorce his wife may only do so for “some uncleanness” in her. What does this mean? It means that she has either committed adultery or he thought she was a virgin and then on the wedding night he found out that this was not the case. It can also mean that she is an idol worshiper and she worships pagan gods.
We find out that in the book of Ezra Chapter 10:3-19, the men were commanded to divorce their wives who refused to put away their idols.
Another reason why divorce is out of someone’s control is when the innocent party (the believer) has an unbelieving spouse who wants to leave the marriage:
1st Qorintiym (Corinthians) 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but Elohiym has called us to peace.
The Apostle Sha’uwl (Paul) is telling us that if an unbelieving spouse wants to depart, then let him go. He goes on to say that we are “not under bondage” to the marriage in this case.
Now that we know that there is a difference between being “put away” and being legally divorced, it changes how we will read what our Messiah said in the gospels, so long as we read it in the King James Version or some other version that uses the correct Greek words:
# 630. apoluo ap-ol-oo’-o from 575 and 3089; to free fully, i.e. (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively, depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon or (specially) divorce:--(let) depart, dismiss, forgive, let go, loose, put away, send away, release, set at liberty.
# 647. apostasion ap-os-tas’-ee-on neuter of a (presumed) adjective from a derivative of 868; properly, something separative, i.e. (specially) divorce:--writing of divorcement.
# 3080. lusis loo’-sis from 3089; a loosening, i.e. (specially), divorce:--to be loosed.
Mattithyahuw (Matthew) 5:
31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (shalach, apoluo) commits adultery.
As you can see the word “put away”was translated correctly in verse 31 as it is #630 in the Greek Strong’s Concordance. But in verse 32, however the English translators used the wrong word for “divorced.” The word should be “put away,” which is #630 apoluo.
31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (shalach, apoluo) commits adultery.
As you can see the word “put away”was translated correctly in verse 31 as it is #630 in the Greek Strong’s Concordance. But in verse 32, however the English translators used the wrong word for “divorced.” The word should be “put away,” which is #630 apoluo.
Mattithyahuw (Matthew) 19:
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have you not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore Elohiym has joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Mosheh then command to give a writing of divorcement (kriythuwth, apostasion), and to put her away (shalach, apoluo)?
8 He said unto them, Mosheh because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away (shalach, apoluo) your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoso marries her which is put away (shalach, apoluo) does commit adultery.
Now here is where most people get confused. As you can see from the above verses, the thing that causes one to commit adultery is to marry someone who is “put away” or separated but not divorced! The Greek words being used are “apoluo” in every single case which simply means to be separated but not legally divorced!
But there is one place where the King James translators did mistranslate the word “put away” and instead they inserted the word “divorce” where it does not belong:
Mattithyahuw (Matthew) 5:31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away (#630 apoluo) his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement (#647 apostasion):
Mattithyahuw (Matthew) 5:32 But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away (#630 apoluo) his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (#630 apoluo) commits adultery.
Did you get that? In Matthew 5:32 the wrong word was used for divorced! They translated it correctly in Matthew 5:31 using the word apostasion #647 for divorcement. But then in verse 32, they used the word divorced, but it should be “put away” because right next to it in the Strong’s Concordance and the Blue Letter Bible, it shows that the original Greek word is not #647 for “apostasion” (divorced) but the word should say “put away” because the number used right next to it is # 630 which is the Greek word “apoluo.”
This means that our Messiah said that whoever marries a person who is still legally married but separated from their spouse is committing adultery! He was not saying that if a person marries a divorced person that they are committining adultery necessarily! If the person leaves their spouse in order to marry someone else then they are committing adultery. But if the innocent party has had their spouse leave them and divorce them, then they are free to remarry because they are the innocent party who did not cause the divorce!
This means that our Messiah said that whoever marries a person who is still legally married but separated from their spouse is committing adultery! He was not saying that if a person marries a divorced person that they are committining adultery necessarily! If the person leaves their spouse in order to marry someone else then they are committing adultery. But if the innocent party has had their spouse leave them and divorce them, then they are free to remarry because they are the innocent party who did not cause the divorce!
All of the other modern translations have caused divorced people for years to be under unnecessary condemnation for being wrongfully divorced by a spouse. But the King James Version gets it right in every place by using the correct word “put away” (apoluo) except for in this one place in Matthew 5:32 where they mistranslated the word “apoluo” as divorced!
Now let me comment on the above verses in Matthew 5 & 19. First of all, “No, it is not okay to put away a wife for any reason.”
Messiah knew that the only reason why a man could “put away” his wife is for the cause of fornication or adultery. But he was still required to write her a certificate of divorce in such cases. You see men were just abandoning their wives without having a just cause, and they were lusting after another woman. Because these men did not have a just cause to divorce their wives, instead of giving them a divorce certificate, they would simply abandon their wives without a certificate and then they would marry another woman without being loosed from the first wife. Not only did they not have a just cause for divorcing their wives (which was the first sin) but they also were putting away their wives without writing them a certificate of divorce, and this left the woman unable to re-marry.
And so she was left in limbo still being legally married to the first husband and unable to re-marry.
Now the Pharisees asked “is it lawful for a man to PUT AWAY his wife for every cause”?
The first thing that we will note is that in Deuteronomy 24, the only just cause for a man divorcing his wife is that he found some “uncleanness” in her (either fornication or idolatry). But the Pharisees knowing this already were trying to trick Messiah to see if he would agree with Mosheh (Moses) or not.
You will notice that in verse 9, a man is guilty of adultery if he marries a woman who is “put away” (separated but not legally divorced). If a husband merely “puts away” his wife without a legal divorce and then remarries another woman, he is also committing adultery. This is also another proof that YaHuWaH never condoned polygamy but he merely tolerated it.
In verse 9 it also says that the man who marries a woman who is “put away” (separated but not legally divorced) he also commits adultery.
In Debariym (Deuteronomy) 24, however, if a man marries a woman who is legally divorced, he does not commit adultery. It is only when he marries a woman who has not been legally divorced by her husband that he is then committing adultery!
Also notice that the only reason why YaHuWaH allows a man to put away his wife is for the cause of fornication. This means that he thought she was a virgin before the wedding night, but then on the night of the wedding he then finds out that she is not. He would have a just cause to divorce her under those circumstances. However, if he loved her anyway, he would kill a lamb and put the blood of that lamb on the bed-sheet and show it to the wedding guests outside to cover her sin!
Now let’s take a look at Mark’s account:
Marqos (Mark) 10:
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Mosheh command you?
4 And they said, Mosheh suffered to write a bill of divorcement (kriythuwth, apostasion), and to put her away (shalach, apoluo).
5 And Yahuwshuwa answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation Elohiym made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore Elohiym has joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he said unto them, Whosoever shall put away (shalach, apoluo) his wife, and marry another, commits adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away (shalach, apoluo) her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery.
Notice that if a “woman shall put away her husband” (meaning that she merely separates but she has not been legally divorced by him), that she is also committing adultery if she marries another man. In verse 11, Yahuwshuwa Messiah says that if a man shall “put away his wife and marries another woman, he is committing adultery against his first wife.”
This once again is proof that polygamy is wrong. The first wife is being sinned against when a man takes another wife while he is still legally married to her.
Luqas (Luke) 16:18 Whosoever puts away (shalach, apoluo) his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and whosoever marries her that is put away (shalach, apoluo) from her husband commits adultery.
When the Jews came out of Babylonian Captivity, many of the men had married heathen wives and they were commanded to divorce these heathen wives and to return back to Towrah.
Ezrah 9:
1 Now when these things were done, the princes came to me, saying, The people of Yisra’el, and the priests, and the Lewites, have not separated themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites.
2 For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers has been chief in this trespass.
3 And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied.
4 Then were assembled unto me every one that trembled at the words of the Elohiym of Yisra’el, because of the transgression of those that had been carried away; and I sat astonied until the evening sacrifice.
5 And at the evening sacrifice I arose up from my heaviness; and having rent my garment and my mantle, I fell upon my knees, and spread out my hands unto YHWH my Elohiym.
Here in the above verses we have Ezra renting his clothes and plucking out his beard as he mourns and weeps in repentance on behalf of the sins of the House of Judah for marrying heathens who worship idols. Then he went into prayer and fasting to seek after YaHuWaH to know how to handle the situation:
Ezrah 9:
12 Now therefore give not your daughters unto their sons, neither take their daughters unto your sons, nor seek their peace or their wealth forever: that you may be strong, and eat the good of the land, and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.
13 And after all that is come upon us for our evil deeds, and for our great trespass, seeing that you our Elohiym have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us such deliverance as this;
14 Should we again break thy commandments, and join in affinity with the people of these abominations? would not you be angry with us till you had consumed us, so that there should be no remnant nor escaping?
15 O YHWH Elohiym of Yisra’el, you are righteous: for we remain yet escaped, as it is this day: behold, we are before you in our trespasses: for we cannot stand before you because of this.
In the next verses we read that all the remnant of the House of Yahuwdah (Judah) wept and repented for marrying heathens and idol worshipers. After there was repentance, they entered into Covenant with YaHuWaH to divorce their heathen wives:
Ezrah 10:
1 Now when Ezrah had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of Elohiym, there assembled unto him out of Yisra’el a very great congregation of men and women and children: for the people wept very sore.
2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our Elohiym, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Yisra’el concerning this thing.
3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our Elohiym to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our Elohiym; and let it be done according to the law.
In conclusion, we know that YaHuWaH really does not want any married couple to be divorced, but in some cases, he actually commands us to divorce a spouse who is a heathen that worships idols. Now if the unbelieving spouse wants to remain married to the believing spouse, the Apostle Sha’uwl (Paul) says that we should pray for that unbelieving spouse. But what if that unbelieving spouse is a witch or a Satanist? There are extenuating circumstances where a wife may have to flee with her children to get away from a dangerous spouse. And if a man is married to a woman who is practicing witchcraft or has idols in the home, then he may divorce her according to Deuteronomy 24 for this is considered “uncleanness.”
There is a fine line between an unbelieving spouse who needs prayer and wants to remain in the marriage and an all-out heathen who is worshiping idols and inviting demons into the home thereby bringing everyone under a curse. It is one of those things that should be determined on a “case-by-case” basis with much prayer and counseling and also by the leading of the Ruwach ha’Qodesh (Holy Spirit).
However, if that unbelieving spouse does not want to dwell with the believing spouse, then we are not under bondage in such cases (see 1st Corinthians 7). Ultimately we should all take the approach like the prophet Hosea and pray for a wayward spouse. But if the wayward spouse refuses to return to YaHuWaH or to repent from adultery or idol worship, then we are free to divorce and re-marry according to the scriptures.
My Own Personal Testimony
I had a husband who cheated on me for years. He used drugs, beat me and verbally abused me, but I never left him. He also dabbled in Satanism and recorded worship music offered up to Satan in the recording studio. My children were terrified when they heard this music. Yet I remained with him and prayed for him for many years. Then finally he left and moved in with another woman after 10 years of marriage. Even during this one year separation when he was living with the other woman, I continued to pray for him and for the other woman.
Finally after a one year separation, he told me that he wanted to be married to the other woman, and so I “let him depart” as the Apostle Sha’uwl (Paul) said to do in 1st Corinthians 7. My ex-husband wanted the divorce and so I signed the divorce papers and gave him his freedom. This was not my choice, but I could not force him to stay and I know that YaHuWaH was delivering me from a very abusive situation.
I would’ve taken him back and forgiven him if he had repented, but YaHuWaH released me from that terrible marriage. There were people that told me that I could never remarry because I was divorced but this is not what Deuteronomy 24 says. It says that when a man writes his wife a certificate of divorce, she may go and become another man’s wife!
At the time I did not know that the terms “divorce” and “putting away” are totally different words in Hebrew and Greek. And so I was one of the countless people who have been put under condemnation for being divorced even though it was out of my control.
If a woman is married to a man who abuses drugs or alcohol and he beats her, she should remove herself physically from danger by separating but she should not file for a divorce. She should continue to pray for him from a distance.
The Apostle Sha’uwl said this:
1st Qorintiym (Corinthians) 7:
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but YHWH, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
As you can see Sha’uwl is telling the woman not to depart from her husband, but “IF SHE DOES” let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
This tells us that there could be extenuating circumstances whereby she has to physically leave, because she is in danger, but if she does this, she is to remain unmarried or if the husband is rehabilitated and quits drinking and beating her, repents, gets demons cast out of him, etc. she may return and be reconciled to him. I don’t believe that YaHuWaH wants a woman to remain married to a man who is a pedophile and sodomizes her and the children. Or a man who is a homosexual who goes out and sleeps with men thereby infecting her with aides. These are the types of reasons why the woman may separate from her husband but she cannot write him a certificate of divorce or initiate the divorce. Only the husband may do that.
But the bottom-line is that if the husband writes his wife a divorce certificate, she is free to remarry. Our Messiah Yahuwshuwa was not contradicting Deuteronomy 24 when he said that a man or a woman “commits adultery” for marrying a person who has been “put away.” For the word “put away” does not mean the same thing as divorce! A person who is “put away” is merely separated but there is no legally binding document that proves that they are divorced! In order for a person to be allowed to remarry according to the scriptures, the man must write the woman a divorce certificate and then she may remarry!
Hence, our Messiah was not telling us that a man or a woman who is divorced may never remarry!